Need Believe

I use to love downloading the werid-ish song about Pokemon, Sailor Moon and Digimon, I’ve just found them all and oh my god are they the most funnist I have listen to in a while!

On to something which isn’t my creepy obession over pokemon when I’m 20. I’m still trying to arrange tomorrow night, I’m really worried about Rhi, she has been so down lately and I don’t know what to do. She doesn’t wanna come out (which is unheard of for Rhi, past entries prove this), or spend time with the gang. I know one of us was hard on her last time we were over about the sitaution, everyone else says she will come out of it but I’m such a worrier. I think I might just surpise her next Thurs night go over there with Pizza and we can have a heart to heart.

I have the lovely Melissa coming out with tomorrow night along with Ross, Tanya and hopefully Rach but I also want to arrange to go around my mate Tam’s flat to see her as I seriously need to catch up on my social life which took a back seat when I worked nights at Sains. Talking (typing) of Mel, just called her and oh my god was she hyperactive, I don’t know how much caffine she has but she should seriously take it slowly.... Ha ha

I handed in my Sains uniform today it was very sad I’m gonna miss the people down the petrol station loads, I left them chocies and a nice card Love to the sains massive

Sad fact, I have read all the Tru Calling fanfiction and am now totally bored so am going to play my Lemmings or my deep sea tycoon. But I did buy the dvd series ‘24’ and I don’t know if that is any good and as I am not that interested in who wins big brother, I think. But all the ads for it I think I will have to watch it :blush:

Oh and Lost as Hope pointed out was very strange, I am completely confussed about it...

I can not believe it, me and Rhi went out last night as it was my last night out until I come back from Ohio, we were drunk before we left my house, we went to weatherspoons drunk one double vodka and redbull.

Then to Yates, which I must say it looking so much better they have changed it all, I was firlting with the Dj who gave me free lies, they now have poles in Yates so I spent most my evening pole dancing. We must have had only two more double vokdas and red bull, me and Rhi were dancing so we left our drinks next to the dance floor with my bag and coats. Somehow I have no idea when but Rhi’s drink was SPIKED! I can not bloody believe it we were in Hastings, this has never happened to me.

Rhi can’t remember half her evening, we then went to Waves where I lost Rhi who went to the toliet to be sick and took the bag, half an hour later I went to look for her she wasn’t in the toliets but outside with the female bouncer, she was so great and lovely to Rhi! She had been throwing up outside, but our bag was missing, so went back inside and looked in the toliets a lovely lady in there had found it, I was so worried about it.

We got a cab home (the cab driver was brill, really was looked after Rhi so well, kept stopping just in case she was going to throw up). Rhi spent the whole evening throwing up and this morning.

I want to hurt the bastard who spiked Rhi’s drink! Wanker! So pissed off about it!

Me and Rhi have agreed were not going out again until Helen comes on in the middle of July as we seriously need to stop drinking so much, my liver is dying on me. I came to the conclusion that I will not be drinking in the states as I can’t trust myself not to over drink and either start a fight or do something really stupid.

The states have it right about not allowing them to drink till 21, I’m going to have liver damange by the time I’m 20 at this rate if I don’t slow down. My muther doesn’t like me doing it anymore either as she worries about me when I’m out as she knows how drunk I get.

I love the feeling of being drunk dont' get me wrong, I do enjoy going out but the idea that someone could do something terrible to me or one of my friends, scares the hell out of me. I keep wondering what if I hadn’t found Rhi or she had passed out somewhere and someone had hurt her! I would not forgive myself ever!

Other news Kim went to hosiptal twice as he had a high fever but he is alright now I’m looking after him today. Its been a stressful morning. I am doing the calling rounds of checking in with my friends who were out last night and seeing if they got home alright otherwise I’ll worry.

Oh my god!! Destiny’s Child Live were so good last night, me and Rhi left the house at 4.30pm, she driving, me navaigting. We managed to get up to London no probs, driving around in London is hard work got to the garage to find out I have left my purse but it wasn’t a big problem as I had the tickets in the bag. So we got lost when we were trying to change lanes at Vauxhall ended up in Battersea, then drove into Earl’s Court, managed to get there in time for 7.30pm and it started at 8pm.

Our tickets were really good so close to the stage and we could see the girls so well!! They were great and so were her dances! They sung Say My Name and No No No. They did a total of 15 songs. So good the block we were in they were so hyped up it was great! My voice hurts this morning from singing, Rhi has some great pictures so will get them from her when she gets home from work.

Getting home was a totally different story, it took us 30minutes to leave the car park, then we got lost and went around and around Catford and Peckham so many times, but we got onto the right road in the end when we headed for Dover. We got back onto the A20 and some strange car kept flashing there lights at us and it was so creepy!!

We managed to get home for 1.30am this morning!! Total of 3hours drive home! God I hate naviagting in London and Rhi now hates driving in London but getting there was easly getting back was a nightmare all the road look the same.

I’m childminding this morning and have just managed to get my brothers off the computer, they are now making Spiderman cakes which have blue icing and red sprinkes. So healthy!

Also I have a new fanlisting “Hot Weather” I adopted it and Gill just said I can have it today! I wanna get a layout up

I’m knacked already and I haven’t even gone to work yet maybe this evening lack for the next three days will probably kill me! So I had college today 9am till 4pm then got home am missing psycology tonight as I would rather work to be honset, working 6pm till 11.15pm then back up in the morning for college 9am till 5pm then work 6pm till 11.15pm.

I have Wednesday off, I think I’m seeing Gary for about an hour :blush: then I want to go and see Mel in the morning hopefully if she is around. Plus I have to work in the evening, Thursday I’m at college then I want to go into town to get a dress to wear Thursday night as I don’t normally wear dress more like a tight top witha belt but as Gary is going out with us I thought I might as well make an effort.

Were going to see Dan’s band play then go down the crypt, Rhi gonna come over mine with the vodka with Katie (Hopefully), Helen flaked as shes got some strange meeting.

Friday sleeping (recovering more like it) and maybe out Friday night with Gary then Sat working the eve shift and sunday the day time.

Talk about busy! I always need to fit in loads of homework and other pointless crap.

Gotta love the layout don’t you think it is groovy, ha ha very nice acidee. I’m having to go to work I’ll hopefully blog again Wednesday but with my schedle I’ll don’t think I will.

I am so happy my life line has been thrown and it is great :blush: I got my second credit card approved today and I needed it so much as the interest on my other credit card is really high and I can’t afford it anymore, my new one has 0% APR for 6months which I will be able to pay it off by then as I will be in Ohio!! Yeah baby

Other post that came today, I got my extra time in my exam which I needed for my proof reading so all in all I am in a very good mood, and will spend today fixing up my blog and SC.net which is taking forever

I was so poor yesterday, I had to use coppers to get to college on the bus which was really depressing, I couldn’t go out to say goodbye to Gary and James as I had no money, I had already had like £80 lent to me by my muther so I didn’t want to ask her for anymore, so I stayed in, chatting online to Mellie, Rhi and Ellie. Hadn’t spoke to Ellie in like 2 weeks and I was worried but talked to her for over 3hours last night which was good, just planning my trip to Ohio while I’m there I think we are staying in a cabin for a while or going to Canada, which is great, I think I might did to book off more time though :confused: I have 15days in the states, but I might need more so I think I will have to look at my tickets. :|

I rung my boss yesterday and she has agreed to my time off on the 15th weekend so I can go to Katie’s 19th birthday party!! Which are just sooo good, but I had to work two Wednesday evening shifts but it’s only for two weeks.

I’ve just this momment got out of my pit of a bed as I am seriousy hungover :sleepy: from last night which was groovy baby!

Rhi came around mine at like 7pm, I was wearing my short school girl skirt (green checked) my black low cut top, fishnets, high heeled black knee high boots and my muther long black cargin which is gorg and we went out to the street to get the cocktails and the shots, as I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast my two wheetabix which I seemed to bring up loads that evening. Ran into Helen, her sister Nat, her sis bf and Helen’s new bf Ben. So we all started drinking then we went to Moda to get Katie and some other people.

By now I am very very drunk, so I had more, we went to the street again to get more shots and for drooling efforts, then up to tubman to see Rach, Ross and Tanya and that lot, on the way ran into Liz and Sophie which was nice said hello to them and happy new year. In tubman I was trying to put on my lipstick which was terrible as I kept missing my mouth so I had it all up my face looking a state, snogged Andy and Chris in the ladies toliets and Andy outside tubman against the wall.

Drunk more then went to some horrible pub, was dancing with Helen and drunk more (You’ve getting the picture huh?) then to Weatherspoons which wasn’t £15 to get in it was free, bloody liers! Spent have the time lieing on the floor in the toliets in there, Rhi’s got a video clip of me falling of the chair up there and then sqeuking “Helen gave me weed” which of course sent me on a total high.

I kept falling over and lieing in the road which was good fun, I love being that drunk it is the BEST in the world. Then back to Moda to see the new year in, Katie and Rhi stole food from the private party upstairs and somehow Katie came downstairs with a whole box of chocolate fingers :confused:

Dancing around, went down the alley to spoke some weed with the others but as Ben was setting up and I was lieing in the road (I was wearing a VERY short skirt and fishnets) the police came down Ben nearly got assrested for having weed, this little bloke nearly got as welll as he said he gave it to him an =d nearly got assrested for drug dealing. Helen started on the police woman and she said she would have to assrested her if she carried on swearing, haha, it was so funny.

I spoke to my muther to wish her happy new year, she thought I was naked in the streets of hastings, all for the nutity but it was bloody cold, and then spoke to Mel who I think I said “Darling, Happy new year, love you loads, oppies police gotta go!” haha, I adore Helen, Katie, Mellie and Rhi they are my bestest friends in the world, I would do anything for them. 

It took me 10 cab companies to get a cab for 1.30am as they are all fully booked, in between the fights and the drunkness it was a REALLY good evening, better than 2003, 2004 rocked baby!

Been at my fevers for the last two days as I don’t get to see that part of the family till waaaaay after xmas, I got there on tuesday night at 9pm, we dropped in on Sainsburys (there sainsburys is so much smaller than my one, like they say big the better) and as all the little cashiers had disappeared or hiding under there tills (probably), so we decided to give the self service till ago, oh my god such a giggle. Every time my dad put something in the bag it would go “You put put something in the bag!” then try and rearrange the bag “You took something out of the bag” this went on for ages, I nearly wet myself laughing, then on to the nector card “Please put your nector in” we did, it replied “Use a different card!” HAHA!! what a crack up. My dad says he is scarred for life, went in a :karate: expert and came out a broken man, haha!

My dad has been doing the online shopping so we have ended up with a 30 tins of beans, 15 bottles of wine, 8 bottles of water and about 5 kitchen towels, if a bomb hit us we would be safe! :cheeky:

I have seen my choice of christmas plays this year, Heather had hers she was a singer and her play was ‘Snow White and the 7 Aliens’ Sandy held up a sign saying “BOO!” and her play was something to do with the pipe piper and the black death :hypo: Kim’s was today after the terrible train jounerney of some random car hitting the brigde at the junction, I nearly missed the play! :headache: he was a dad in the school play and there was something to do with stars and police men?

Just got home, I’m sure people are getting stupid, or just can not spell, I was left a message saying parcel has been left in “garase” it was my chirstmas presents, nearly done, only my muthers to get now.

James came home but it’s not really gonna work, long distance reletionships plus now he is working thurs, fri and sat day and I work sat eve and sun day. Plus with the childminding and work, trying to keep the social life, I’m off to Rhi’s on sunday for a crisis chat about my love life and on thursday I’m going to see Mel with the Kimis in Eastborune, plus i’m off Christmas Eve (a drinking) and the 29th (Tanya’s parents are away! Party at hers!)

I have a copy of my dads hard back book, it is selling really well, i’m sooo proud, :computer: I am helping re build his website as it needs a fresh new look, and I am working on Rhi’s simply-charmed.net galleries which are taking forever and I was hoping to get them up by chirtsmas but somehow I don’t think that is going to happen plus I want to put a sort of gallery on this website of all my webcam images :camera: (I have so much) so it will keep me busy over the hoildays.

It’s morning and I am so stressed and knacked its unbelievable, talk about not having a chance to breath 

Lets have a week download....

Thursday - Had college all day which is just slowly killing me, it is so much work, plus my favorite tutor has decided to leave but she gave some good advice about how we shouldn’t care what others think of us, and how we should never indulge in the passions from work, how true is this saying? I will never get involved with someone from work again, the person who comes to mind Steve. Never again.

Friday - Worked all day on my bloody websites, which are just growing, I have no much I want to do Digital-D, but simply-charmed has just moved servers, and it is a total mess. Because geocities.com is a total crap server, chargers way to much and we needed more space but now they are taking days to transfer the domain name over to cyberpixels.com, the site is uploaded, it took 30minutes.

Then had to work the late shift, 5pm till 11.15pm

Saturday - Got up late, 11am which is really bad for me, when my mother knows I have loads on she normally wakes me up, but didn’t. I spent the day tidying my room that is still not tidied! Worked that night, Tam called me while I was working, I don’t normally answer my phone but we were dead, she said she crashed her car

Sunday - worked all day, we were so busy! Then came home, did some psychology homework that needed to be done, my homework list is breeding! :shocked:

Had the family lunch, and then went to Rhi’s pub for drinks.

Monday - College all day, it is as dull as dishwater, the teachers are like if you want to leave just leave, I was like don’t tempted me!

I had my doctors appointment, who basic told me I was stressed and had high blood pressure, I felt like saying be me and not be stressed, but he wants to do blood tests as I am always tried :tired: all the time. Even now I feel it.

Came home, tried on my outfit for Ecotria, which is happening on Sunday, I am not sure if I want to wear my school girl outfit but I haven’t decided.

Then had my evening psychology lesson, good notes of the class no more stress we finished the subject but we have moved on to Abnormality. Which is going to cause arguments, I can feel it, I’ll debate to keep one of the subjects off abnormality.

Tuesday - Teachers gave us another lecture regarding Alan’s dull lesson, Rachel failed her 3rd driving test and Laura passed first time, but everything is just coming down on me.

I hardly have time to wash my hair these days, which is gross I know! I feel I am :16tons: getting behind in homework, my websites, my family, my fella’s (they are doing my head in, Then there are two maybe three more, at this moment in time is James is my boyfriend and the others are interests, I sound like such a whore).

The need is coming back over me, nothing is taking that need, that release that I use to have, I’ve tried everything, smoking doesn’t do it, the sex doesn’t do it, the drinking doesn’t do it nor do the drugs. It’s winter that would be able to tell?

On other news :filmstrip: I am going to see BJD on Thursday hurrah! Plus I will hopefully be going out on Saturday with Rhi, and then there is the all time favorite ECROTIA!!! SUNDAY!!!

I don’t think I told you about this little who had a go at me for being old in the All Grown Up forum, he sent me a PM saying

"Look here, You have to stop! Don’t call people huns or say oldish stupid things. It’s hurting our board"

I am sorry if his pre teen hormones just kicked in but I wanted to hit him!

Any who I’d better get going, I need to get dress, get a bus, get my hair done and buy more xmas presents